Their Greatest Enemy
by natcat5
Summary: Sora, Roxas and Riku, along with Roy Mustang, Ed and Al Elric, Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi, find themselves in an entirely new world where everyone seems to know who they are. In this world there is a great danger that threatens to destroy them, fangirls..
1. Chapter 1

**So, here's a little fanfic I decided to start called 'THEIR GREATEST ENEMY'. **

**It stars Riku, Sora and Roxas from Kingdom Hearts, Roy Mustang and Ed and Al Elric from Full Metal Alchemist, and Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi from Naruto. It's going to be kind of...a crack fanfic with a serious plot. I know, makes no sense. Hm, what I mean is that it's going to deal in drama, pain, loss, sadness, fighting, and other dramatic bad things, but it will have a giant underlying of hilarity. You'll know what I mean when I post the next chapter, which I'll do soon. **

**This isn't in the Crossover section because it has three crossovers and I couldn't decide which two to post it with! It's in Kingdom Hearts because a lot of the stuff that happens here will be focused on Roxas. Alot of stuff will also be focused on Naruto and Sasuke, so I might move it to Naruto/Kingdom Hearts crossovers later (sorry Ed!) **

***Disclaimer **

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Full Metal Alchemist, or Naruto. I do own the plot. Which hasn't really started. Oh, well....**

_**Normalcy**_

It was a typical day on Play Islands.

Wakka, the red-headed island boy, was sitting on the on the beach with Riku, trying to coach the silver-haired teen to play a game of blitzball, Tidus and Sora were sparring, the latter going easy on the former due to his greater experience, and Kairi and Selphie were sitting on the docks, giggling and whispering as they watched the four boys.

"Take that Sora! Boy, you got lazy in the two years you were away!" mocked Tidus as his harsh blows sent Sora stumbling backwards. Sora smiled, catching Riku's knowing glance. None of the inhabitants of Destiny Islands knew what had really happened to them in the two years they had been missing, and they intended to keep it that way, even if it meant pretending to be weaker than they actually were.

"Isn't Tidus awesome? He's been practising hard these two years, you know; glad to see it's paying off," said Selphie, staring dreamily at the blonde. Kairi giggled. "Well I think he's just a show-off. Sora could beat him if he really wanted to, but right now it's just for fun," she said, gazing at the spiky-haired boy who had stolen her heart.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Riku and Wakka had joined the fight, turning it into a fierce, four-way battle. Selphie and Kairi laughed at the boys' competitiveness, while enthralled by the show of masculinity.

"Hey, Wakka, let's team up and blast these guys!" called Tidus, dodging Riku's blow. Grinning, Wakka hopped over to his friend, throwing his blitzball at Sora to evade him. Sora dodged the ball and ran over to stand beside Riku, the two of them brandishing their wooden swords as threateningly as they could manage.

"Ooh! This is getting good! My money's on Tidus and Wakka, because they've been training all this time. What about you Kairi?" asked Selphie with an overzealous giggle. Kairi smiled softly.

"Sora and Riku, unless of course, they decide to go easy on Tidus and Wakka, which they might. You never know with those two, maybe they're pride will get the better of them and they'll cream the other guys," she said thoughtfully. Selphie snorted. "You think too highly of them Kairi, especially after the left you alone on the island for a year," she said somewhat cruelly. Kairi frowned, than shrugged. She couldn't expect Selphie to understand.

"Hey Riku, let's take these guys down a notch. Tidus's head is big enough without all the hot air," said Sora with a grin. Riku smiled. He usually didn't participate in these mock battles, he was seventeen and they seemed childish and a bit pointless, but he couldn't resist aiding his best friend in taking down two hotheads.

With a yell, Riku and Sora charged at Tidus and Wakka.

Suddenly, a black portal opened up beneath their feet and sucked them in.

There was silence on the beach.

The remaining four teenagers stared at the spot where the two boys had been in horror.

"Sora?" whispered Kairi, "Riku?"

It was a typical day in Central Headquarters.

Major Armstrong was producing art before awestruck trainees, Riza Hawkeye was using Fuery and Havoc for target practice while Braeda and Farman watched in amusement, and Roy Mustang sat at his desk, working diligently at a drawing for the new Female military uniform, a uniform that would save money on fabric by being ingeniously short and revealing.

"Sir, Full Metal and his brother are here," said Sheska, poking her head around the door of Roy's office. Roy looked up, irritated at having his work interrupted. "Am I supposed to be excited or something? Oh, whatever send them in," he said with an airy wave of his hand. Nodding furiously, Sheska disappeared. Mustang sighed and looked at his sketch, tapping his chin thoughtfully with his pencil. The skirt was okay, with flared out edges to catch even the slightest bit of wind, but the neckline could plunge lower...._much _lower...

"BASTARD!!!!!!!!" Roy sighed as the angry voice of a certain blonde pipsqueak reached his ears. The door of his office flew open, revealing two blonde-haired boys. One had sandy, tousled hair, short, but with long bangs that hung in front of innocent hazel eyes. He was dressed in an untucked, off-white dress shirt, with a green jacket overtop and dark-coloured jeans **(1)**. The other had golden hair, hanging in large, poufy bangs in front of his face and tied back in a braid at the back of his head. He was wearing black pants and a black shirt, with a black, white-rimmed jacket overtop. His eyes were an unusual golden colour, and they were now wide with rage.

"YOU STUPID BASTARD COLONEL! WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT A MISSION!! WHAT MISSION?! I DON'T WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE YOU BASTARD! AL'S BACK TO NORMAL AND I DON'T GIVE A FLYING SHIT ABOUT WHAT THE HELL YOU STUPID MILITARY DOGS DO! WHY THE HELL DID I GET A LETTER SAYING TO REPORT TO CENTRAL FOR A MISSION?! ANSWER ME YOU BASTARD!" screamed Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist.

"Brother," said Al, chuckling nervously. Roy merely raised an eyebrow questioningly, before leaning back in his chair with another sigh.

"Really Ed, you'd think being a few weeks away from seventeen, you'd be a _little _more mature-,"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE THAT HE'D BE RUN OVER BY A BOULDER THAT WAS ACTUALLY A GRAIN OF SAND?!!"

Al sighed and shook his head slowly. "He didn't say that Ed...."

Roy chuckled and waved his hand airily. "Don't worry about it Alphonse. As to your question Full Metal, I don't know what you're talking about, 'I don't work for you anymore'. Once a military dog, always a military dog, and a dog as good as you are is just too good to let go of. As Fuhrer, I decided to give the two of you a short respite, out of the goodness of my heart, but break time's over ladies." Roy smirked evilly, "You're back on the leash."

Al's wide, puppy dog eyes, stared at Roy in shock, hurt evident in his eyes, but the aptly named, Bastard Colonel simply turned his head, intent on watching Ed's, much-anticipated reaction.

The short alchemist stood stock still, his head down and his eyes hooded.

There was silence in the office.

"B-Brother?" stammered Al, looking at his brother with worry and fear. Roy raised an eyebrow, leaning forward excitedly.

Then Ed did the completely unexpected.

He laughed.

Al and Roy both jumped back in surprise, wondering if the short-tempered teen had finally snapped.

"Nii-chan?" whispered Al, reverting back to using the pet name for his older brother.

"Full Metal?" said the former Colonel, leaning forward in curiosity and anticipation.

Ed stopped laughing and smirked, winking broadly at Mustang.

"Aw, what's the matter Mustang? Surprised I didn't break down and cry? Here's a newsflash for you, bastard; I can't wait for your goddamn mission!"

Al gasped in surprise and Roy's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"Really," said the officer sceptically, "Is that so?"

Ed nodded, clenching his fists in excitement. "Yep. I've been bored out of my mind back home in Risembool; it's time for some good old-fashioned action! So give me whatever mission you've got hidden up your conniving bastard sleeve Mustang; I can't wait!" exclaimed Ed.

Al sighed at his brother's enthusiasm, realizing that the peace they had experienced for the past few months was gone with the wind.

Roy smirked and leaned back into his chair. "Well now, that's great to hear. I suppose-,"

Roy Mustang never got to finish his thought, for at that moment; a black hole opened up inside the office, and sucked the three guys in before they could make another sound.

It was a typical day in Konoha.

Konohamoru and his band of mischief makers ran amuck, dodging the ear grabbing tactics of Ebisu Sensei, Choji sat at the ramen place, half-listening to Ino blabber on about fashion, Ten Ten and Lee were sparring in the streets, while Neji walked far behind, pretending not to know them. Shino stood in the shade of a building, watching the goings on of the village with mild interest, while Hinata sat under a tree, dreaming of her blonde haired prince, and Kiba raced through the surrounding forest with Akamaru, both howling in excitement.

Shikamaru Nara stood outside of the Hokage's office, waiting anxiously for Tsunade-Sama to invite him in.

Shikamaru gritted his teeth.

Sasuke Uchiha had caused the Hidden Leaf Village nothing but pain the last few years, and it was time he was stopped. Shikamaru had hoped to ask Naruto or Kakashi for help in beating him, as difficult as it would be for them, but now they'd both disappeared!

Shikamaru sighed and leaned against the wall, tapping his foot impatiently. He was pretty sure that Tsunade-Sama would grant him permission to hunt down Sasuke, but what would she do when she found out Naruto was missing too?

"You looked worried Shikamaru-san," Shikamaru turned his head to see a pink-hared girl with green eyes standing beside him. She looked tired, and sad. "As do you, Sakura-chan," he answered. Sakura smiled weakly. "Yes, well, I shouldn't be. The village is flourishing...the Akatsuki haven't stirred up trouble...everything seems great...,"

There was silence in the hall.

"Naruto's gone," said the pink-haired Shinobi softly. Shikamaru nodded. "I know."

Sakura sighed and hugged her stomach. "He can be so impulsive! He can't just run off like that...at least Kakashi Sensei's with him...,"

Shikamaru nodded. "Don't worry Sakura, Naruto has a habit of always pulling through...I'm sure this time will be no different," he said confidently.

Sakura smiled once more and bowed to her fellow Shinobi.

"Sasuke!" cried Naruto, clenching his fists as he saw his former team mate on a tree branch above him.

"Naruto," said Sasuke smugly, contempt obvious in his voice. "Don't you ever give up? I have no intention of returning to a weak, spineless village like Konoha...get it through that thick head of yours," he sneered with a smirk. Naruto narrowed his eyes. "I've got no intention of trying to bring you back Sasuke," he growled. Sasuke raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh really? Why are you here then?"

Naruto's gaze fell, and he half-closed his eyes. "You were my best friend Sasuke, and the best comrade in battle. You saved my life countless times, and I even managed to save yours once or twice. You were part of Team 7, with Sakura and me, and I've never had a closer family than what the four of us had," he whispered, closing his eyes completely.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, his eyes open and blazing. "But you've hurt to many people Sasuke! You picked the wrong side! I know you're planning to attack Konoha! And I won't have it! A squad's already being formed to take you out," Naruto narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists tighter, "But they don't have the right. You're my friend, my teammate, and I'll be the one to stop you!"

Sasuke looked taken aback, but then he smiled. "Do you really think that you can kill me all by yourself Naruto?" he taunted.

"I dunno, you never know with this kid, but I'm not giving him the chance to find out."

Both Naruto and Sasuke jumped in surprise as Kakashi landed on a branch above Sasuke.

"K-Kakashi sensei!" stammered Naruto. Kakashi smiled (though you couldn't tell) and nodded.

"Yep. You didn't think I was letting you fight him alone did you? He's my problem too," said the white-haired copy ninja.

Sasuke smiled. "This should be interes-,"

The black-haired rogue ninja got no farther as a black hole opened up and sucked the three ninja in.

**Teehee! So how was that! Awesome huh? Well, I know the random black hole bits were....random, and didn't really make sense, but, well, this fanfic, while not a complete crack fanfic, is going to have some crack fanfic tendencies. **

**Okay, here's a little explanation for the above scenes. **

**KH: Directly after KH2, but Mickey's message hasn't happened. **

**Riku's seventeen, Sora's sixteen. **

**FMA: When Ed was bringing Al back, Dante ran in with Gluttony chasing her. They ran into the transmutation circle and were taken instead of Ed. So Ed got to stay when Al came back, and Al kept his memories and stayed fourteen. **

**It's been about seven months since that happened. **

**Ed is sixteen, almost seventeen, and Al is fifteen. **

**N: I originally planned to have it directly after Pain's attack on Konoha, but I was afraid that not a lot of people would have read that far in the manga, so this now occurs right before Pain attacks. **

**Naruto's sixteen, Sasuke's sixteen, Kakashi is...um, some help? Could someone give me an idea on how old he is? (Let's stay in the twenties, please,). **

**Tell me what you think! But bear in mind, the story hasn't even begun yet.....**

**xoxo, natcat5 ;p **

**(1) The outfit he wears in Blue Bird's Illusion. **


	2. First Encounter

**Ah, second chapter. This chapter, I had so much fun with. It was just fun to write on all accounts. So very fun....teeheehee.....**

***Disclaimer **

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Full Metal Alchemist, blah, blah, blah. I do own my lovely OCs though! **

_**First Encounter**_

"Uhnn..."

Sora slowly opened his eyes.

_Where am I? _

The Keyblader sat up slowly, wincing as he did.

_Jeez, how far did we fall..._why _did we fall...where the hell are we...speaking of we..... _

Sora turned his head, relieved to see Riku stretched out beside him, relatively unharmed. The brunette sighed in relief and was about to arouse his friend when he heard something behind him. Immediately, Sora was on his feet, and he whirled around to face whatever was there.

Sora gasped.

Stretched out on the pavement, directly in front of him, was a blonde, spiky haired teenage boy. He was wearing a red, white, and black ensemble with black and white finger and wrist bands.

"R-R-Roxas?" stammered Sora in disbelief. Roxas let out a moan and his blue eyes fluttered open.

"Hn...where...am I?" muttered the Nobody, sitting up. It was at that moment that Riku awoke, leaping up immediately into a battle position, Way to Dawn at ready. Turning his head, the dark warrior saw Sora standing over a dizzy and confused Roxas and promptly dropped his Keyblade. Sora jumped at the clangy sound of the weapon hitting the pavement, and Roxas started, and then peered closer at the person in front of him. "So...ra?" he muttered dazedly. Turning his head towards Riku, his eyes widened. "Ri...ku?" he whispered, his voice getting clearer as he returned fully to consciousness. Riku nodded uncertainly as he picked up Way to Dawn. "Yeah," he muttered. Roxas blinked again, and rubbed a hand across his eyes. "Sorry...I'm still a little out of it...where am I? What's going on?" he asked, getting to his feet shakily. Sora, recovered from the original shock of seeing his Nobody corporeal once more, let out a dry chuckle. "Um, no idea where we are Roxas, or how we got here. Or how _you _got here," he said nervously. Roxas remained silent, observing his surroundings with mild interest.

The three boys appeared to be on a street of some kind, surrounded by buildings of varying degree. Some tall, some short, some long, some petite, all looking decrepit and run down.

"Are we in some part of Twilight Town?" wondered Sora aloud, scratching his head as he looked at the unfamiliar landscape. Roxas shook his head. "No...I know every corner of Twilight town...this isn't it," he said, his eyes narrowed as he looked around.

Riku had a puzzled look on his face, as he surveyed his surroundings. "This place...," he said softly, Sora and Roxas immediately turning to look at him. "This place...it's different than any place we've been to before," he continued, "It's...there's something different about it. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's definitely something different." Riku frowned. "I don't like it, let's leave," he said abruptly. Sora looked at his friend in surprise. "Oh, c'mon Riku. Lighten up a little! We're in a totally new world! Let's explore a little. The least we can do is talk to someone and find out where we are!" said the brunette exuberantly. Roxas didn't say anything, staring off into the distance with a faraway look in his eyes. Riku merely sighed, knowing it would be like arguing with a two-year-old if he tried to go against Sora now.

"Fine," he said with a huff, "Let's find someone to talk to, but then, let's at least look for a way out," he compromised. Sora nodded excitedly and ran towards one of the buildings.

"Where are you going now?" groaned Riku, exasperated. "I'm gonna see if anyone lives in that building! Come on!" exclaimed Sora, still running. With a small smile, Roxas ran after his Somebody. After a moment, Riku dismissed Way to Dawn and followed them with a groan.

Sora, Roxas and Riku approached the door of a small, shabby looking purple building. Sora was practically bouncing as he approached, Roxas seemed to be deep in thought, and Riku was all but dragging his feet, muttering darkly about how he had 'a really bad feeling'.

Sora began to knock on the door enthusiastically, his trademark, overwide grin plastered on his face. Roxas stood beside him with an amused smirk on his face, while Riku just looked exasperated. From the other side of the door, several whispers and girlish squeals could be heard. There was the sound of scrabbling on floorboards, something breaking, and then finally a girl screaming: "It's open! And that pizza better not be cold!"

Sora, Riku and Roxas exchanged puzzled looks, before the brunette twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

It was a large, one room apartment, with hardwood floor and one, rundown couch. The walls and ceiling were completely covered in posters....of Sora, Roxas, Riku, Axel, Zexion and Demyx. They were also covered in posters of three different blonde boys, one wearing an orange and black jumpsuit, one with sandy hair, and one extremely short. Two brunettes, one a serious looking teenager, the other a man dressed in a blue military uniform, and a man with white hair and a face mask.

Stretched out on the floor and crammed together on the couch were girls. All manner of girls. Short girls, tall girls, skinny girls, chubby girls, redheads, brunettes, blondes, girls who were cute, girls who were ugly, girls of all possible ethnicities. There were about thirty of them, sprawled out in various places around the room, and as the door opened, they simultaneously turned their heads.

Sora, Riku and Roxas froze in the doorway.

Sora was looking at all the girls. Never in his life had he seen so many girls in one place! And they were all staring at him.....

Riku and Roxas were staying at the walls, where they had each found several anime versions of themselves. Most of the pictures of Riku seemed to be shirtless, while almost all of the pictures of Roxas had Axel in it. The three boys stood with their mouths hanging open, and there was complete silence.

The girls began whispering among themselves, not taking their eyes off the strangers.

"...not the pizza guy...,"

"Who are they?"

"Cosplayers?"

"They're freakin' awesome cosplayers! They look _exactly _like Sora, Roxas and Riku would if they walked out of the game and into our world...."

"..._look _at them! It's freaky!"

"The must be elite cosplayers!"

"....something about them...I-I don't think they're cosplayers!"

"What?!"

"How....how...how....,"

"That's....but....holy f(oops!)"

"I don't believe it!"

"Sh! Quiet!"

The girls stopped whispering and freaking out amongst themselves as a tall blonde girl with blue-green eyes shushed them. Slowly, the girl got to her feet, and walked across the room towards the three boys.

Sora's eyes widened as she approached, and a blush quickly rose in his face. Riku narrowed his eyes, immediately viewing her as a potential threat. Roxas just stared at her, an appraising look on his face.

The girl stopped, directly in front of Riku.

"What's your name?" she asked roughly. Riku raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Who wants to know?" he shot back. The girl raised an eyebrow. "Melanie Freye, Captain of the Kingdom Hearts, Naruto and Full Metal Alchemist, Kunoichi Girls!" she said proudly. Riku, Sora and Roxas all jumped at the mention of Kingdom Hearts. "So who are _you_? And who are your friends?" challenged Melanie. Riku snorted. "If you must know, I'm Riku. The dumb-looking brunette is Sora and the melancholy blonde is Roxas," he said snidely. "Hey!" protested Roxas and Sora simultaneously.

All the girls froze.

Melanie's eyes widened and she backed away.

The three boys exchanged puzzled looks.

"Um, what-," began Roxas.

That's when all hell broke loose.

A curly haired girl started screaming: "Roxie! Roxie!" and flung herself at the blonde. Tackling him to the ground and glomping him violently. About five other girls joined her, pushing and scratching at each other, each trying to grab onto one of Roxas's limbs.

"Help!!!" screamed the blonde, now suspended in the air as two girls pulled on his right leg, two girls pulled on his left leg, and another two girls had an arm each.

However, no one could help him.

Riku had about fifteen girls on him, three on each leg, another two attached to his waist, one pulling on his arm and another five fighting each other for his face.

Sora had six girls chasing him around the room. Finally, he jumped onto the couch and summoned the Kingdom Key, pointing it threateningly at his assailants. "Back! Back you beasts!" he cried frantically.

Another four girls had attached themselves to Roxas, so he now had three girls on each leg, and two girls on each arm.

_Why...._thought the Nobody in despair...._why is this happening....why does bad stuff always happen to me? _

Riku summoned Way to Dawn and began hitting at the fangirls, only to have them squeal in delight at being hit with 'Riku's Keyblade'. "Damn....hormonal....harpies!" he screeched.

Sora screamed as a girl grabbed his foot, dragging him down into the clutches of the other girls. "Help!" he screamed desperately as he was pinned down beneath the six crazed teens.

"Somebody help us!!!!"

Just then, the door burst open in a flurry of flames to reveal three guys. One was a black haired man in a blue military uniform, the other a sandy haired boy with hazel eyes. The last was a short blonde with odd golden eyes.

"What's going on? Who called for help!" cried the boy with the golden eyes.

"...We did....," said Roxas weakly, still suspended in the air between ten girls. The newcomers' eyes widened in alarm as they took in the scene before them.

"Holy crap...." said one of the girls tackling Riku. "It's Ed! Holy crap! It's Ed Elric!" With a screech the girl released Riku and tackled the blonde to the ground. "Brother!" cried Al, only to find two girls latched onto his legs. Roy found himself surrounded by four crazed looking teens, and he held his hand out threateningly. "Be careful girls, I'm not afraid to torch a couple of minors," he growled.

Sora broke free of his three attackers, half of them having left to glomp Ed. "Quickly! Let's get out of here!" he cried, running for the door. With a roar, Riku shook off the remaining girls attached to him and raced for the door with Sora. Apologizing profusely, Al removed the girls on his legs and began pulling girls off his brother.

"Nii-chan, are you alright!" he said worriedly. Ed was covered in lipstick marks and his jacket was askew. "Gah....uhn....ooh...," he said dazedly. "Come on Full Metal! These girls are dangerous!" said Roy roughly, grabbing Ed and Al by the arm and dragging them out the door.

"No! They're escaping!" cried a red-headed, freckled girl as the last three guys raced out the door. "Not all of them," said one of the girls still latched onto Roxas. All ten of the girls who had originally attacked him, still held him tight, and Roxas was powerless in their grip. One of them had her hand over his mouth, which had prevented him from calling out when his friends had escaped without him.

"Quickly, my car's out back! Joni, Kara and Ash will come with me and take him somewhere safe. Everyone else, lock the door and remove the evidence. We don't want Sora and them finding where we took Roxas. After you've cleaned up, go out the back door and scatter. We'll regroup at Headquarters B at 0800 tomorrow. This is it girls! This is the moment we've dreamed of! We. Have. Roxas! The actual. Genuine. Roxas!" said Melanie gleefully, grinning as she signalled the red-head, Joni, a petite Latina, Kara, and a buff girl with a short black hair, Ash. The three girls moved forward, Joni tying a blindfold around Roxas's eyes, and a gag around his mouth, and Kara and Ash binding his hands and feet.

"Mmph! Lmmigo! Sra!! Srrraaa!!!" mumbled the blonde as he struggled helplessly. The other girls were moving swiftly, the door locked tight and almost all evidence of their existence wiped out. Ash picked up Roxas as if he weighed nothing, and followed Melanie out the back door, Joni and Kara close behind.

Sora gasped as he burst out of the room and ran half way down the street, Riku close behind. Less then ten seconds later, Roy Mustang, pulling Ed and Al Elric along, burst out as well.

The five of them raced down the street, completely terrified that the crazed girls were coming after them.

_Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun! _Thought Sora frantically. _Why'd those girls attack us! The were all over Riku and they looked like they were gonna tear Roxas apa-, _

Sora suddenly skidded to a halt, causing Riku to bump into him and sending them both crashing down to the pavement. Roy almost ran over them, and he swerved just in time, stopping his dash to look at them in irritation. "If you're gonna fall like that, don't get in my way," he growled. "Are you okay?" asked Al, wriggling out of the officer's grasp. Riku nodded shakily. "Yeah, but those girls-,"

"Have Roxas!" interrupted Sora. "He's not with us! We left him! We left him to those she-demons!" he cried distraughtly, leaping to his feet to run back towards the building.

"Damn it Sora, wait! You can't go back in there alone! They'll eat you alive!" cried Riku, swearing as he got to his feet and ran after his friend.

Al looked to Mustang. "I'm gonna go help them!" he said with determination, turning to run after the two teens. Roy sighed in exasperation. "You just met them....Full Metal, go after your little brother before he gets himself mauled....Full Metal? Full Metal! Ed!" he said, shaking the small alchemist from where he held him by the arm.

Ed's eyes were glazed over, and he was hanging loosely from where Roy held him.

"Gah...smrf....flemga....," he muttered, still obviously affected by the severe glomping he'd received.

"Roxas! Rooooooooxaaaaaaas!" cried Sora, pounding on the door. Riku caught up to his friend, panting. "Sora! Don't run off like that! We need to-,"

"Stupid door, those damn she-demons locked it!" he growled, ignoring Riku. Sora summoned the Keyblade and pointed it at the door. In a burst of light, the door swung open.

The room was empty.

It was _completely _empty. All that was left was the couch. All the posters, the nail polish, the magazines, the action figures, and most importantly, the girls, had gone. All that was left was a ratty, deserted couch.

Sora and Riku stared at the empty room in horror.

"No," whispered the brunette.

"Roxaaaaaaaaas!"

**  
Bwahahahaha! That was so fun to write! Really, I just had so much fun writing that entire attack scene, and everything that happened after! Poor Roxas! His adventures are going to be...interesting, for sure. **

**Yes, I know, no Naruto in this one, but don't worry; they'll be some next chapter! **

**Unfortunately, I may not update for a bit, because I want to work on the next chapter of **_**KH: Dark Side of the Moon, **_**and I'm going away for four days, so I probably won't have a lot of time to work on this before next Thursday. Still, I'm excited for the next chapter! **

**What will happen to Roxas? Will Ed ever recover from the severe glomping he received? What happened with Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi? **

**Review and I may be motivated to write the next chapter sooner! **

**xoxo, natcat5 ;p **


	3. What? Konoha? Or was it Candy Mountain?

**Hehe. Well, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Been a creative slump with this story, but I've got my second wind now! **

***Disclaimer **

**Don't own Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, or Full Metal Alchemist. **

_**Where? Konoha? Or was it Candy Mountain?**_

Sasuke opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was an oddly coloured sky. Not cloudy, but somehow starless, covered in some sort of odd haze that hid the stars from view. The moon was half full, oddly brownish beneath the haze. Sasuke immediately leapt to his feet, sword drawn and at the ready as he observed his new and strange surroundings.

A field, on a lonely hill overlooking a strange village, with buildings taller than any that the dark warrior had ever seen before, and sparkling bright lights that were almost blinding. The most outrageous noises were coming from the village; honks and beeps and yelling and screaming and loud continuous sirens. As soon as one siren stopped another one would start.

Sasuke stared at the village in shock and confusion. What was this strange place?

"..Hn..."

Sasuke jumped as he heard a noise from behind him, whirling around with sword poised and charged with chakra.

Kakashi and Naruto were stretched out behind him, unconscious, and Kakashi was beginning to stir. Sasuke tensed, mentally chiding himself for not sensing them immediately.

_I don't want to deal with them right now, _thought the Uchiha, _the last thing I need is a fight in an unfamiliar place. Or worse, they might want to make up and join forces in order to face this new challenge. Ick. Care Bears shit. No way is_ that _happening. _

Sasuke turned and immediately began descending the hill, towards the strange village below.

_I've never seen a village like that...it could be a challenge...but I like a good challenge. Maybe some idiot will challenge me...that would be fun...very, very fun. I wish I could assess the situation a little more, but I don't feel like dealing with the closet pervert and the dobe right now. I can kill them _after _I've explored a little..._

**xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoox**

Kakashi opened his eyes **(a/n, eye? Does he open his other eye? Does he ever close it?) **

_Hm....we're somewhere different...I can tell...the whole feel of this place is different....Naruto's right beside me, out cold, Sasuke is....not here....but....close.....Hn...I suppose I should get up and wake Naruto so that we can go after the bugger..._

Kakashi sat up quickly, and turned, shaking Naruto roughly. The boy let out a moan and muttered something along the lines of:

'lemmealonegimmefivemorminutesnoonotthefryinpanSakura...,' Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but then leaned down close to Naruto's ear and muttered one word.

"Ramen."

Immediately, Naruto's eyes snapped open and he was on his feet in a flash.

"Ramen? Where! How much of it? Is it free? Where is it? I can't smell anything!" he cried, whipping his head back and forth as he searched frantically for his precious ramen. Kakashi would have chuckled if not for the present situation. "Naruto, we seem to have been transported to an unfamiliar place. I believe Sasuke was transported here as well, but he seems to have already gained consciousness and taken off," said the Copy ninja seriously. Immediately Naruto's eyes narrowed and he became serious. "Right. Any idea where we are, or which way Sasuke went?" he asked, looking around at the unfamiliar landscape. Kakashi sighed and looked down at the large, bright village below. "Well, Sasuke's not stupid, so I don't think he'd go headfirst into completely unfamiliar territory, however, he also probably wants to avoid a fight with us, which means he'd head for the place we were the least likely to go," he said, his hand on his chin thoughtfully. Naruto sighed, exasperated. "Kakashi, just spill it already! Where do you think he went?" he cried. Kakashi smiled from beneath his mask. "That way," he said, pointing towards the brightly coloured village. Naruto's eyes widened and widened and widened.

"Whoa! What village is that? Look at all those buildings! They're _huge! _And what are those noises? And look at all the lights! How many people live _there? _What-,"

"I don't know Naruto," said Kakashi with a sigh. "But I'm almost positive that's where Sasuke went." Naruto's eyes narrowed again and he clenched his fists.

"Then that's where we'll go too."

**xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoox**

Sasuke growled as he came to yet _another _dead end. This whole village was a giant maze, filled with dead ends and complete freaks. Weird, monstrous things raced down the roads, and more people than all of Konoha and Suna combined raced back and forth. There was a never ending cacophony (**isn't that word the best?) **of noise, and the flashing bright lights were incredibly disorienting. Sasuke cursed Naruto and Kakashi for forcing him to flee here and began to turn around.

Then he froze.

"...I _told _you..."

"It can't _really _be...."

"It's him! It's Sasuke!"

"What the hell would that asshat Uchiha be doing here?"

"Don't insult my Saki-kun!"

"He _is _an asshat,"

"But such a _sexy _asshat..."

"Okay, so it's Sasuke, what do we do?"

"C'mon, we need to lure him back to the hideout. We can't get him with just the five of us. I have an idea...."

Sasuke didn't get that entire conversation, only hearing tidbits here and there, but he understood that there were five girls behind him that knew _exactly _who he was. The ninja turned around, eyes narrowed.

The five girls gasped as the Uchiha turned to face them, dissolving into giggles. Sasuke regarded them with contempt; they reminded him of the girls at the academy, carbon copies of Ino and Sakura.

A tall girl with short black hair stepped forward, smiling sweetly. "Sasuke, we have something you want," she cooed. The other girls joined in.

"Yeeees Sasuke, we have something for you."

"Something ammaaaazing,"

"Something wonderful!"

"You just have to come with us!"

"We're going to...er....uh...Candy Mountain!"

"Candy Mountain?"

"Yes, Candy Mountain! Where all the most powerful ninja techniques are born!"

"Yes Sasuke....we're going to Candy Mountain!"

"Candy Moooountain Sasuke!"

"We're going to Candy Mountain Saaasukeee!"

Sasuke stared at them blankly. Had they been hitting the sake bottles? They seemed a little young for that, but who knew?

"He's not buying it"

"Of course he's not! He's the goddamn duckbutt headed, asshat Uchiha! He's not an idiot!"

"You know what? Screw this. Let's glomp him."

"Amen sister!"

Sasuke sweatdropped as the five girls began to advance. "Do you girls," he growled menacingly, placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, "Have any idea who you're dealing with?"

The response to that comment was an eruption of extremely unnerving giggles.

"Oh, yes. Yes Saki-kun, we know _exactly _who we're dealing with."

"The almighty Uchiha survivor, Sasuke."

"Slayer of Orochimaru, Deidara, and Itachi."

"I still haven't forgiven you for killing Deidara-san,"

"Or Itachi-kun!"

"Yeah! Itachi was sooooo much better looking than you!"

"And he was much more awesome than your emo ass."

"Hey! Stop being mean to Saki-kun!"

"Yeah! Why are we insulting him when we could be glomping him?"

"Right. You get the rope, I have the handcuffs. Forward ladies!"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, activation the sharingan as the girls once again began to advance. Immediately, they all squealed, giggling shamelessly as Sasuke's eyes glowed red.

"It's the Sharingan!"

"Oh my god, we're being Sharinganed! How awesome is this?"

"Do you think he can see through our clothes with that thing?"

"Teehee, who knows? But I wanna see under _his _clothes..."

"Attack!!!! Glomp the bastard!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as the five girls leapt at him, and the Uchiha quickly moved out of the way, appearing to have disappeared, and reappeared on the roof of a nearby building.

"Damn it! He escaped!"

"Don't worry, I'll call Mel! She'll assemble the girls and we'll corner him!"

"I think she's busy with something...her voicemail said something about Number Thirteen...."

"Train-kun?!" **(1)**

"No, not Train-kun you traitor. I think she meant Roxas!"

"Roxas! But how...."

The girl's conversation tapered away as Sasuke raced away across the top of the buildings.

_Those girls were crazy, _he thought. _And yet...they knew so much about me...they knew of my kills, and of my eyes. It's so strange....what...is an asshat? __**(2)**__ And...duck-butt headed? What is glomping? _

The Uchiha frowned, puzzling over these new mysteries as he raced deeper into this new world.

**xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoox**

"Kakashi, people are staring at us."

The white-haired shinobi looked at his blonde friend, who was staring at the large number of people around them with nervousness.

The two ninja had decided to take the straight forward approach and join in the crowd in the center of the city, to get a better feel for the people here and maybe receive some information. Right away, the two had noticed that they stood out, their clothes very different than those of the people around them. People were indeed staring. Not a lot of people, as the majority of the crowd seemed to be ignoring them, but enough people to make the two men uneasy.

"Maybe we shouldn't be so open like this. I don't think we'll get much information. Most of the people are talking into those small transmission devices, but they're not making much sense. Mostly there swearing and screaming and I think talking about....um...." Naruto trailed off, blushing.

Kakashi chuckled inwardly. The blonde was so innocent, it was adorable.

"You're right Naruto. Let's go somewhere less crowded and think up a battle plan."

The two of them began picking their ways through the crowd, escaping into a small back alley away from the busy street. Naruto and Kakashi continued walking, finding themselves in a small back street, with various buildings.

Naruto stiffened and looked towards the left, blue eyes narrowed. "Kakashi-sensei!" he hissed. "I know, someone...a group of someone's, is here," said the Copy Ninja.

"This is horrible! Those crazy girls....they stole Roxas!"

"This is really bad. We just got here; we're not at all familiar with the area....who knows where they took him?"

"I'm really sorry about your friend....I wish there was something we could do to help."

"Like hell! Al, we've got ourselves to worry about here! We can't go lending ourselves out to others!"

"Ed! Don't be so mean!"

"Stop fighting you two, you'll attract unwanted guests! We're in unfamiliar territory here!"

"....what about Roxas? He's in unfamiliar territory too! Those girls...oh god, who knows what they could be doing to him!"

Naruto and Kakashi tensed as five strangers emerged from a decrepit purple building conversing and bickering and swearing in turn.

They froze.

Three of them seemed to be teenagers, with one man and a little blonde kid (**teehee, sorry Ed**).

They were all looking at them with startled expressions. Suddenly, two of the teenagers, one with spiky brown hair and the other with long silky silver hair, held out their hands, and in a bright flash of light, a blade appeared in both.

_Whoa! _Thought Naruto, his eyes widening. _Was that some sort of summoning jutsu? Who can summon that fast? _

The little blonde kid narrowed his eyes and clapped his hands together, electricity crackling along his arms as his right one transformed into a long metal blade (**3).**

"Who the hell are you two!" he snarled. Naruto blinked in surprised, and then his eyes narrowed. "Wow! Big talk for a little kid!" he shot back. The third teenager, with sandy blonde hair went completely white, and turned to the little kid. "Wait! Onii-chan! He didn't mean-,"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE PIPSQUEAK WET-BEHIND-THE-EARS KID WHO IS SO LITTLE THAT ANTS WOULD STEP ON HIM AND SO SMALL THAT HE IS ATTACKED BY GERMS THAT ARE TWENTY TIMES HIS SIZE AND IS SO LITTLE THAT A CHIHUAHA COULD TAKE HIM ON!!!!!" screamed Ed, jumping on Naruto and brandishing his sword threateningly.

"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" shouted Naruto, quickly making a hand sign.

Immediately, about twenty Narutos surrounded Ed, all making various taunting faces at him.

"Bah! Stupid shorty!"

"Little kid, can you get all of us?"

"Betcha never seen so many awesome ninja, have ya?"

"What's wrong, you all talk and no fight?"

"Show us what you got, kid!"

Ed's face was bright red as he stepped off the original Naruto, his whole body shaking with suppressed rage.

"What...did you...say?" he muttered through clenched teeth, his eyes murderous.

Roy Mustang chuckled. "I don't know who you two are, but I'd stop provoking him. He's not as _little _as he seems. He's actually a very dangerous, very short-tempered State Alchemist, so you might want to step off and treat him with some respect. While you're at it, why don't you tell us who you are?" said the former Bastard Colonel.

"We're shinobi from Konoha, and we're not here to provoke anybody. Right Naruto?" said Kakashi, his eyes glaring steely at his young friend. Naruto mumbled something unintelligible before dispelling his Shadow Clones and standing up.

"Shinobi? What are those? Where's Konoha? Never heard of it!" said Sora, his blue eyes wide.

"WHAAAAT??!!!!!!! YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF KONOHA!!!! JUST WHAT TYPE OF BACKWATER VILLAGE DID YOU COME FROM!!!!" exclaimed Naruto in disbelief.

"Destiny Islands, thank you very much. We didn't get out much until about two years ago, and since then, we've been around quite a bit. Seen a lot of places, and have _never _heard of Konoha. Makes you wonder what type of backwater village _it _is," said Sora coolly, tightening his hold on the Keyblade.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and took an angry step towards the brunette.

"Yeah, _I've _never heard of Konoha either. Or a shino-whatsit. I've been around quite a few places myself. So, you gonna tell us who you are, and what the hell a shinobi is?" said Ed, before Naruto could do anything, moving to stand beside Sora.

There was silence. You could practically _see _the waves of animosity passing between Naruto, Sora an Ed.

"O-Onii-chan...." said Al, sweatdropping nervously.

"Fullmetal, now's not the time..." started Roy, exasperated.

"Hey, Sora, wait a sec...." said Riku, at a loss as to what to do.

"Naruto, maybe we should...." began Kakashi.

And that's when all hell broke loose.

**Teehee. Well this was sort of fun. I have a feeling that there's going to be a lot of Sasuke torture in this fic, because it is my greatest wish that the asshat be hit by a truck, however sexy he may be. **

**Next chapter **_**might **_**have what happened to Roxas in it. I make no promises! Though it will involve our heroes being thrust into new and terrifying situations....**

**(1)Train from Black Cat, Number Thirteen of the Chronos numbers, and an extremely awesome guy. Seriously. I love him! **

**(2) Okay, I made up that term when Sasuke first started acting like a total dickweed. Somehow, ass**_**hole, **_**was no longer a strong enough term and one day, I just started screaming 'ASSHAT!' at the computer screen. Then, when I called him an asshat in front of my friend, she looked up the meaning.....yeah. It's actually a real word. Don't look up the meaning.**

**(3) Yeah....Ed still has metal limbs...why, you ask? Because I said so! Or, if you want, the gate took his arm and leg again because it was petty and had gotten used to having them. There you go.**


	4. Another AN, but a happier one!

**HIII! Sorry, you guys must be getting tired of these! Anyways as most of you probably know, I'm planning on continuing this fic (thanks to all the support I got! Thanks guys!) I meant to post a new chapter right away, but.....it was giving me issues. I'm sill working on it, but it's coming along very, very slowly. So anyways, I'll post that chapter as soon as I can, but once I do, I'll probably go on hiatus until either March Break, or Summer. I don't know why, but this fanfic seems to require me to concentrate more than others, and concentration is not my strong point, so I need a time when I'm relatively free of other distractions to sit down and write this. **

**Anyhoo, sorry for the second A/N and hopefully the next chappie will be up soon! **

**xoxo, natcat5 ;p **


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